These are a few of my favorite things….

                The past few weeks have been warm, sunny, and a long awaited breath of fresh air.  Spring is Paris’ most becoming season, if I do say so myself.  We all (especially anyone from Wisconsin) appreciate when spring time finally rolls around after a long, cold, (and in Paris’ case, rainy), winter and I have been making special care to take advantage.  I have been getting out as much as possible to enjoy all that this spectacular city has to offer.  Each time I go out I fall even more in love and I have also been becoming defensive of this love of my life.  Don’t you dare insult this grande ville of mine!  If you don’t have something nice to say- well, then you haven’t seen Paris the way I have and are not willing to give it the chance it deserves.  I have decided to address this problem with a post for an attitude adjustment!

Lesson 1 :  If you are frustrated with this city- it’s probably because you are American and you are used to being on time, being served right away at a restaurant, or being taken notice of as soon as you walk into a store- because you know, ‘the customer is always right!’  Well I hate to burst your bubble but you need to chill out!  One of the first things Paris or France in general, has been teaching me since day 1 is a little thing called patience.  The French do not care about making as much money as they can as quick as they can.  Therefore, when you walk into a store and see a line, expect to be waited on just as soon as they get around to you.  I have waited at the cell phone store for over an hour, just to put minutes on my pre-paid phone.  Did I get frustrated?  Yes, because what I needed would take only five minutes, I was behind only four other people in line, and there were three people working.  The employees take their sweet time and thoroughly take care of the customer at hand’s needs, maybe even taking a smoke break or making a phone call in between.  The first time this happened I stood there tapping my foot, huffing, and getting angry.  The second time, I somewhat anticipated it, and was only semi-frustrated.  The third time, I brought a book.  I actually have now learned how to put minutes on my phone just by calling the number instead but that is not the point.  The point is, things here just take more time.  You may wait an hour for the bill when you go out to a restaurant, so what?!  Do not go out to eat unless you have no plans for afterwards, or at least not time sensitive plans- it is a social experience as well as a gastronomic one, enjoy the time sitting and talking with whoever you are lucky enough to be dining with!

                Another area where patience is needed is with public transportation.  At first, I couldn't quite grasp why the French are ALWAYS late, by 10, 20, maybe even 30 minutes (one guy showed up for our date 40 minutes late!).  I had initially accepted that, okay, this is just cultural, they are naturally untimely.  But it is not just the French who are late, everyone is late everywhere!  Whenever there is a get together with friends, or for an organized event, it is inevitable that someone is going to be late.  The excuse?  The metro!  Whenever I am in the biggest rush is when the train or metro decides to stop for no reason between stations, or there is an ‘accident grave’ and there won’t be a train coming until who knows when.  One day I got both scenarios in one day!  Strikes may have lines stopped for an entire day or someone has decided to commit suicide that day on the tracks and you just have to figure out another option- anything goes!  Believe me, I hate waiting for people more than anything, but now I am one of the ones who is constantly late, so I’ve just learned to deal!  The metro is filled with free newspapers or I – bring a book! :D  In summary- if you can learn to just grin and bear it as far as things taking time here, you will have a much more positive experience.

Lesson 2:  Enjoying this city all depends on what you are doing with your time and what you are looking at while doing it.  This can apply anywhere you live really but I have heard so many people talk about how they go about their day, working or going to classes and they sort of lose touch that they are walking about a city like PARIS!  It happens, you get in a groove, you get in a routine and after awhile you are sort of going through the motions.  I know this happened to me in winter which is definitely when I got the winter blues.  I would sleep, wake up, sit around, take care of the kids, dinner, bed- maybe try and get together with the girls on the weekends but it really was almost the same week after week.  Well spring is here- OPEN YOUR EYES!  If you don’t like what you see, you are looking in the wrong places.  We can all come out of hibernation now, the weather is warm and there a plenty of things to see! 

Just this last weekend I took my dear friend Rachel up to Sacre Coeur.  We have been living here six months and she had yet to see it, that and many other sites.  She hasn’t quite yet caught the magic of the city, so I am making it goal number one to help her find it.  It is funny how you can live a ten or fifteen minute metro ride away from something and never actually go and see it, or you think you have see it enough so you don’t bother.  Don’t let that be the case.  On the particular day we went it was gorgeous outside and as we walked up to the gardens in front of the church, we could see people sprawled out lounging in the grass or sitting on the many, many stairs, just soaking up the sun.  I have been to Sacre Coeur countless times, but every time the view is breathtaking, and every time you encounter new things.  Example- As we made our way up the stairs, we sidestepped the creepers trying to con you into buying bracelets, I grabbed Rachel’s arm and told her to keep her wrists against her body, as I did so one of them yells “I like your breasts!”  We both turned with the same thought- did he really just say that?!  Yup he did folks- welcome to France!  What did we do about it- LAUGH, it was creepy yet hilarious.  Indeed I have been flustered by said creepers but now, I know not to acknowledge or react to them, but keep walking and simply laugh at how ridiculous they are.  Rachel and I walked around the church, the artists square, Montmartre, picked up some smoothies and took to lounging in the grass with the other Parisians.  The sun was warm and we chatted away (lil miss here actually gave me the direction I’ve been needing so you never know when a leisurely  chat may influence your life!).  Later this same day we took a train out to a small outer edge village to visit our friend Sarah.  We walked through one of the most quaint and adorable little French towns I have ever seen!  I picked up some fresh baked bread with chocolate chips (which we devoured along with a feast of other delicious goodies) and we meandered past beautiful gardens and even saw a cat or two.

Okay, so friends can make all the difference here too.  Enjoy the magic alone or with company- I have been able to find ways to do both.  I’ll give you an example of some of my day to day and how it makes me appreciate all the little gifts Paris has to offer.  Now that it is ‘agreable’ outside, I have been waking up early so as to enjoy more of my day.  I get up around 9/10am and make my usual toast with jam, piece of fruit and coffee breakfast.  I watch a show or read awhile to digest my food and about an hour later dip outside for a run.  I have about a 10 minute walk down the Seine where I pass my favorite fountain (a woman holding an umbrella and the water dripping down like rain), I also pass a school where kids are always outside at this time of day, laughing and yelling.  I start jogging just as I hit the river, I run along it then up and over a bridge which takes me to the “Ile des Impressionite,” a little island which has a park for expositions, a stable full of horses and ponies, a big grassy park, a golf course and a lovely dirt path down the middle of the river, abundant with trees.  Some days when I pass by, the horses are outside to greet me (or awkwardly stare at me).  Just this week a few of the trees in the park burst into bloom with flowers white as snow, quite breathtaking.  I run past business people out for a walk during their break, old women walking fast for exercise, or people sitting on benches, laying in the grass.  Everyone is happy just to be getting outdoors!  I do a loop and end up back at the house after an hour or so feeling refreshed from all the nature and fresh air.  I shower up and take a long lunch with whatever I can find in the house.  By the time I am finished with lunch it is time to go pick up Emile.  On the days that it is just him and I, I pick him up from the crèche (daycare, which I walk to with the empty stroller), I buckle him in and we take leisurely stroll back to the house, going the long way by walking down by the Seine where maybe we’ll get to spot some ducks!  Emile will babble or just sit tranquilly, I think he enjoys the walks just as much as I do.  If I so feel the need, we may pop by a boulangerie where I can pick up a pain au chocolat, a croissant or any other baked goody for a “gouter” (snack).  If you are EVER having a bad day in Paris- just stop by a boulangerie or patisserie because there is always a treat that will catch your eye and cheer you right up!  Hankering for a chocolate éclair filled with creamy custard, maybe a tarte aux fraise (gooey strawberries atop a flaky pastry), or a layered pistachio cake?  They will get you sorted.  Anyways, after our stroll I take Emile home and we keep busy until his parents come home.  Once Emile is in bed, after 8pm or later, we take about an hour to eat dinner, sometimes with wine, sometimes without and thus ends my day (unless I go out with friends for a film or dinner).  Now, I am well aware that not everyone has as much leisure time as I do to take time to enjoy the day outside, if that’s the case- take your weekend! 

Some of my favorite moments are getting out with the girls, into the city, on the weekends.  Most recently we have gone to Musee d’Orsay to get a little culture, also it was raining outside, if the rain is going to keep you indoors you might as well revisit a museum or two!  The girls and I have recently discovered a delicious little frozen yogurt shop in the Marais called Myberry.  It is guilt free and delicious!  They have fresh toppings to choose from and a small seating area to enjoy, or you can take it to go!  This is by far one of the best discoveries yet.  That’s my next tip- there are so many places to pick up something delicious and just “balader” about town!  Falafel, crepe, gelato, berthillion’s ice cream, or just a boulangerie sandwich, are all good to pick up and take to a park, find a cozy spot in the grass and enjoy!  The parks here are just to die for too!  If you haven’t been to Butte Charmonte – GO.  How about the Luxembourg gardens- they have nice chairs you can sit on, the fountains are nice, but it’s not may favorite because you can’t sit on the grass.  Like the monuments- each one has a beautiful garden to sit in.  Don’t like the monuments- well there are countless hidden parks just tucked away between buildings somewhere that are a place of solace in a bustling city.  Wanna go swimming?  No worries- there is a pool floating on the river!  Need a coffee?  For you starbucks diehards, go for it, if you want something a little more classic, just stop at any café and chances are it will have some sort of intoxicating view.  Sick of looking at the same old touristy things?  Take out your map and wander into a neighborhood you have never seen before.  I walked around the Butte aux Cailles just this weekend which is a neighborhood known for its graffiti and there was even a street with homes that looked just like New Orleans.  No matter where I walk, I keep my eyes open and usually spot something of amusement.  One of my favorite things to look for is the post-it art in the big office windows.  Clearly office workers don’t have enough things to do here so every once in awhile you will spy a giant pacman, or some other imagery up in a window, done all in multicolor post-its!

My example of = ya never know what you'll see!

I fear I have rambled and for that, my apologies but I could honestly go on and on about the wonders this city has to offer!  Perhaps I have found the city girl in me, perhaps it isn’t only here, but this is where I am and these are the things that have given me peace.  I know people that have come here and had good experiences and bad.  To those that have had the bad, well, maybe you had bad luck or maybe, you didn’t give your time here a fair shot.  I have my bad days too but if you are going the length to visit or move here you need to have the right state of mind.  Nothing frustrates me more than when people come here and then all they do is complain about it!  If you don’t like the people- fine!  I personally have never had a problem with Parisians, but I can see how you may if you do not speak the language.  However, it is quite easy to get around this city without letting the people get you down.  I can address dispelling Parisian stigmas another day.  My bottom line is, if you don’t love it here, you don’t deserve to be here.  Try tweaking your outlook and LAUGH at yourself when you have a blunderous day.  If all you want to do is whine, moan and complain about it, then get to steppin!  I completely understand missing loved ones and missing your own cultural norms but if you didn’t come here anticipating a completely different lifestyle and aren’t willing to adjust to it, don’t blame Paris, or France, blame yourself.  Love can happen instantly or it can take time but you have to be willing to seek out the magic a little- nothing worth having comes easily and that includes Paris.  If you need a little guidence- here I am to represent mon amour as best as I can. 

If anyone reading this has experience this love for Paris or even for another city- please share anything I have missed!  To anyone that hasn’t had the opportunity to come to this little corner of the world- I hope I have given light to future consideration!  

Bisous!

"Luck is when Preparation meets Opportunity"

I am nearing the halfway mark of my time here in France and I have surpassed the mark of longest time spend away from home.  Five months down and only six more to go- and I say ‘only’ because that is what it now feels like.  At the start of this I was X-ing days off my calendar, counting down the days until I would be going home and the year felt it would take a lifetime.  Everyone talks about how fast a year goes, and I even tried telling all my friends and family- “it’ll be over in no time!” but I was saying that to convince myself more than anything.  I do not think I have ever cried so many tears in my life as I did when I arrived.  It was one of the hardest transitions and not because of culture shock- I already knew what to expect in that aspect.  Lots of people couldn’t understand how I could be so upset and the solution would be to tell me how lucky I am and I should be so happy to be here.  I have come a long way in just five months and I am going to do my best to explain why being “lucky” does nothing in terms of adjusting to a new life situation.

                In the five years since I have graduated high school I have gone through so many different transitions and changes which has made me a very adaptive person.  In just over one year I lost my father, graduated high school, moved out on my own and began learning how to support myself.  In the years to follow I went to two different colleges, changed my major and my life plan, moved every single year, worked one, two and even three jobs at a time, became swallowed up in student loans, studied abroad, graduated at last with a double major after going through 18 credit semesters and working my butt off.  At the end of all that I had many decisions to face- my lease was up, my loans would be coming out of their grace period at some point, I wasn’t making enough money at my job, I had my diploma but only 2 non-paid internships that were relevant to those degrees- what to do???   This is what we call a “quarter-life crisis.”  My poor family and friends had to endure outbursts of sadness and anger all at once because I felt like I was drowning in stress and everything in my life was one giant question mark.  I know I was not an enjoyable person to be around.  I came up with a plan I had been building on throughout my last semester- I would join the Americorps while my Peace Corps application would be processed (which can take a year).  I was sure of this choice and thought it would all work out perfectly.

                I spend months working on both applications and submitted both within a week of one another.  I applied to several Americorps programs and felt well qualified and couldn’t see any reason why they wouldn’t take me.  At the end of June I received an email from a woman living in France who grew up in West Bend and was looking for an American au pair (sorry- most of you know this story).  I had spoken with her back in January but they were looking for someone in 2012 and it just didn’t fit into my plans.  But now they were looking for someone as early as August 2011- she asked if I still would be interested.  It was a surprising email and while I was turning the possibility over in my head- perplexed because I had all these other applications out there and my plan in place, how could I fit in France?  Fate stepped in and delivered to me 3 rejection emails from the Americorps- all in one day.  Turns out I did not get into a SINGLE Americorps program- off to France it was!!!  I was excited and scared all at once, I knew I wanted to try being an au pair once in my life- it is a great way to live in another country, learn another language and I was hoping for another reason to return to the country.  At the same time it would make completing the Peace Corps process a lot more difficult. 

                Fate stepped in with that one too- fate or I am just not a good interviewee, which I have a hard time believing because I have almost never interviewed for a job and not gotten it.  Late in the summer I had a Peace Corps interview in Chicago- they stressed that it was a very professional interview and to be prepare for tough questions.  I thought I had prepared but nowhere near enough!  It was the worst interview I have ever sat through in my life, and it took almost 2 hours!  I left feeling utterly disheartened and defeated.  All I could do was cry as I felt that dream fly out the window.  The interview concluded with the recruiter telling me he wanted me to speak with more returned volunteers and come back with better responses to his questions- basically he told me to get a clue.  A mere two weeks before I was to jet off to France I was supposed to change my outlook and re-represent myself to the Peace Corps?  Not an easy task and not one I was prepared to handle.  I had been so determined but since the recruiter was so hard on me I had to bite the bullet and ask him to put my application on hold- I simply could not deal with it at that time.

                After an emotional rollercoaster of a summer, I said goodbye to all of my loved ones and was dropped off at the Chicago airport.  I could not sleep a wink on my flight over the Atlantic because I was unable to stop crying.  I felt like my life was a mess and I was having a hard time justifying my coming to France- after 5 years in college, my life plan going out the window- I was going to be a nanny for a year?  In the two months to follow I kept asking myself the same thing over and over- what am I doing here?  It doesn’t make any sense for me to be here?  This is not a strategic career move, I miss my family and friends, what the heck am I doing with my life?  I feel I went through the biggest personal struggle thus far in my life.  I couldn’t turn back once I was here but to be honest I felt miserable.  I didn’t know how to take care of children for a living, I could barely understand what the kids said when they spoke, I felt unqualified and like this would be wasting a year of my life just to learn a language when I will end up right back in the same spot at the end of it.  I had to adjust to living in a family home after getting used to living by myself and then with just one other person.  I struggled with moving back in with my own family back in the states and here I was living with one who knew nothing about me!  I clung to life back home, talking to those closest to me as much as I could, and honestly, I was having far too close of a relationship with my laptop.  There were some minor up moments when I would get into the city and see my American friends who were a great support, but I really only got to see them on weekends.  I was able to have some awe inspiring moments that made me remember, ‘hey, I do love Paris!’ but I felt they were few and far between.  For always describing myself as adaptive I was really letting myself down which was the biggest disappointment of all.  I wasn’t ungrateful to be here but I couldn’t make sense of it!

                After countless breakdowns, hundreds of journal entries, and many sleepless nights- I have made sense of it and can say with all of my heart and soul- I am here at the right place and the right time in my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  The best piece of advice I ever received was “it comes in waves,” when being abroad there are high moments of excitement and adventure, and low moments of homesickness and blunders.  Thanksgiving for me here was a great success- I had a wonderful meal with lots of friends at l’Auberge and another lovely meal with my host family.  Christmas and New Years was a plummeting low, which took me by surprised because I tried everything in my power to make it as positive as could be, but part of me just went down with the sinking homesick ship.  Just before I had a friend visit from home, my spirits had started to lift and now they are at an all-time high.  After re-visiting many of my favorite spots in the city, having an excellent birthday celebration and feeling so much love from people here and at home- I am at peace!  Finally I have given up focusing and stressing about my future and what I am going to do when I get home.  I have even stopped counting down until I leave.  I can be described as at a perfect equilibrium.  I am at the point where I miss home but I am SO happy to be here, I want to go home but I will be SO sad to leave.  I am taking this year as my reward for working so hard the last 5 years.  It wasn’t luck that got me here by any means!  One of my favorite quotes is “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity” which is exactly what happened in my case.  Learning a second language is one of the hardest things I have ever done but I made it my own personal goal to become fluent.  See, I am one of those people that cannot start something without finishing it and I needed to come here a second time, for a longer period, to really get my spoken level where I wanted it to be.  I have stressed and strived over this language and here I was given the opportunity to perfect it in the most unique and effective way.  I have been given the chance to experience personal growth to an extreme extent and take a year to focus on just me and no one else; not grades, not a high-stress job, just me.  I have free time in the mornings and early afternoons where I work on getting into shape and being healthy, go to class, or take a personal day for reading/watching TV/ maybe shopping.  I work about 30 hours a week where sometimes I have one kid, sometimes I have three, sometimes it is sitting around while the kid naps, and sometimes its running around to activities.  It can be hard work in its own way.  I have a tight budget but am very well taken care of by the family who goes as far as they can to treat me like family.  I have the weekends to myself to do as I please and I take full advantage.  I have a wonderful balance of work and “me” time which I never realized I needed so much until right now.  After years of multi-tasking and deadlines and craziness I get to learn how to relax and be a little more laid back!

                I have to give a lot of credit for my happiness and positivity right now to the group of friends I have been getting closer and closer with.  Without these girls I would be lost.  In the last couple weeks I have been able to have the most careless fun, forget all my troubles and live in the moment!  I have realized that these girls make me forget all my worries and troubles and just LAUGH.  Laughter has been the best medicine and they make me do it constantly!  From my birthday I learned that they are there for me and willing to do what it takes to keep a girl happy on her night- they ALL definitely went the extra mile.  I can only hope to do the same for them in the months to come.  Girls, mes filles- I have your backs no matter what and I love you dearly!!!  You know who you are :D  I don’t want this experience to end mainly because I do not want this time with these people to end!  Now that we have gotten so close time is going to fly and it is going to be a bittersweet goodbye.

                My family has really come through for me too- from my grandparents right down to my niece, Kaylyn.  I have never felt more loved and supported than since I left.  They say the right things when I am sad, they are happy for me when I am happy and when they don’t know what to say, they at least listen.  I know it is difficult to be there for someone when you can’t completely understand what they are going through but they do their best to try and they have done everything and more that I could have asked for.  I know my sister misses me dearly and wishes I was there with her.  She is one of the reasons I am here doing what I am doing so I know in the end she wants what is best for me and supports me one-hundred percent.  Kaylyn has drawn me countless pictures and made me cards and my heart melts every time she tells me she misses me- I wish more than anything I could be there with her, but at the same time I am hoping that the time I am spending away from her can be a sort of inspiration- to show her she can do anything she wants with her life.  Gramma and Grampa- you have gone above and beyond for me also in so many ways and I know you are there no matter what- on skype and ready when I need you – I love you!  My mother sent me the most glorious care package back in December which was totally unexpected and she went way out of her way on that one, I love her more now than I ever have before.

                To sum up- It was a really bumpy and tough ride getting to this 5 month marker but it makes the perfect mid-point for me, a changing point.  I have a fresh outlook with no regrets, even if I spent weeks crying and wanting to go home, I overcame it and had to go through that to realize how right for me this is.  I have come to learn that Paris is a transitional place for a lot of people and can do remarkable things to you and for you.  I am finally taking full advantage now that I am comfortable with the family and know they are happy with me, I have this amazing group of friends, and the best support group back home- I am prepared for anything.  I hope to be taking more small trips in the coming months, I look forward to more visits from close friends, and see nothing but good times ahead.  Laissez les bons temps rouler!

New Years Eve and La Tour Eiffel, or The Tour of Hell?

New Years Eve, the one evening of the year filled with the biggest let downs in history.  Let’s be honest, most people attempt to make this the most epic night out, most people my age anyways.  In my experience, it is simply never the case- this is the night when you plan things to go perfectly and they all go wrong.  I have learned to have absolutely no expectations for New Years whatsoever.  Especially after having a Christmas vacation in Berlin, far away from close friends and family, where most things planned perfectly went awry.  So New Years Eve I slept in and took most of the day easy, not deciding on official plans until very late in the afternoon.  I was going to a fellow au pair’s new flat to have some champagne and snacks and at midnight we would all go to the Eiffel Tower to watch it sparkle to bring in the New Year.  Simple enough plan, right?

                Wrong!  Our biggest mistake of the evening was leaving the tranquility of the flat.  I was with 3 other au pairs, all very lovely girls. After a little wine, a little champagne and lots of goodies it was already 11pm and time to go.  We headed out to the train station which would take us into the city where we had to transfer to a main metro line to get to the Eiffel Tower.  I had heard the Champs Elysees was the crazy, crowed place to be on New Years, so I figured- Trocadero will be perfect!  We transferred at St. Lazarre to metro line 9, at a running pace, champions in high heels.  Simply from the conduct of the men, nay, boys we encountered running down to that metro- we should have heed warning.  As we approached the platform all seemed normal, and then the train pulled up.  It was far more packed than I have ever seen it, even compared to rush hour on line 1.  It seemed impossible to board but we were determined.  We jumped and we squished, much to the dismay of other passengers.  Two of the girls were actually pushed off, but two of us stayed on and held firm.  The metro doors closed and we were packed, I can’t even say like sardines, more like condensed tuna in a can.  The air was hot with body heat and we were sweating within minutes.  My only comfort would be a breath of fresh air at the next stop when the doors would open, only 5 more stops until Trocadero!  Unfortunately, at the next stop the train sat for quite some time, enough for a few passengers to abandon ship and others to hop and squash aboard. 

                Since we were at a standstill, I thought it would be a good opportunity to snap some photos to illustrate the density we were dealing with (dare I say, due to my recent Berlin visit, I momentarily considered the concentration camp prisoners jammed onto darker and even smaller cars in similar numbers).  The flash of my camera attracted the attention of some passengers looking to cause trouble.  One argued with me, shouting, that he did not want his picture taken.  I assured him he was not in the photo but, my simple acknowledgement gave him the window he needed to harass me for about ten minutes.  Him and his friend hollered and flicked my hair trying to get my attention, to get some sort of reaction until the train started moving again; luckily I am too wise for these no gooders!  They belong to a certain culture of guys who harass women just for fun, I cannot comprehend what high they get from it but if you even give them one speck of interaction, they take it as an invitation the abuse you (verbally, physically, depends on how you react).  Finally the doors closed and the metro was under way once more; four more stops, three more stops…suddenly some guy asks pardon and tries squeezing past me.  I look behind and the two guys who had been pestering me had begun tussling.  The man, who I thought pushed past to intervene, spun things into a horrendous scene.   The sea of people was parted as punches began being thrown.  The train became a boxing ring where bystanders were sure to be swung at or looked on entirely un-amused.  I backed away, grabbing my friend who was right in the center of it all, luckily a kind gentlemen gave us the corner to huddle in until it was all over.  At the next stop, two of the trouble makers were ejected from the train, bloody noses and all.  I stood in shock and disgust as that was the closest I have come to witnessing such brutality.  Two stops to go!

                The Trocadero platform came into sight but it was just as crazy and crowded as the metro!  We were pushed and marched out like cattle, past guards and police directing us to one or two open sorties.  The behavior of the nasty boys was consistent the entire march up and out of the metro.  It seemed I could not look any one direction without a wink, remark, or grab from these disgusting beings.  Luckily we were able to meet up with another au pair friend and her boyfriend near a carousel to await the others.  Once near a French male we were protected from at least a portion of the predators.  Oh yes, I also forgot to mention, by this time it was well past midnight- which we had “celebrated” on the train.  Like I said, I had given up all expectations, so I was utterly unaffected by this.  So alas, we are at the Eiffel Tower simply waiting for the crowd to disperse a bit, midnight was over so why would everyone stick around.  Well for the 1 am sparkle!  Just like we were hoping for of course!  Besides, 1 am is the best sparkle of all!

                The area we were waiting in was a complete disaster, although midnight had past, the masses remained, as did the trash and bottles.  Soon we had evacuate the carousel area due to a vomiting passenger on the immobile craft (someone couldn’t handle the party).  We attempted to move closer to the tower but right as we reached the lower level, smashing glass was heard!  I felt shattered class hitting my barely protected legs; these same hoodlum guys thought it genius to pick up and destroy all of the left-behind bottles, along with shooting fireworks into the crowd.  We had to retreat to higher ground and would have left all together but, it was nearly 1 am and we were still missing a girl!  We stood on edge as fireworks and bottles exploded all round until, finally, the yellow lights of the tower went out and the brilliant white glimmer could be seen along the black beams of the tower, all against the dark blue sky.  For a moment I was able to forget the insanity and remember how much I loved this feeling, this view, and this moment.  Just as quickly as I lost myself, I was brought back to reality as onlookers cheered, lit up sparklers and we had to focus on the safety of our group once more.  It was clear it was time to go once the radiance of the tower shut off.  We found a not too busy street, bought a couple of beers, took a deep breath and eventually found our long lost friend who had been traumatized on the metro.  The rest of the night turned into a blur of wandering the crowded streets looking for a quiet bar and after no success, calling defeat.  After literally hours of walking, standing and trying to flag down taxies, the last of us trumped down to the bowls of the metro, now feeling like the pits of despair, to catch the RER home.  My walk home from the train station was the longest stretch of all.

 I was home by 5am, soaking wet feet, and simply exhausted.  By the time I fell asleep I was merely minutes away from being able to watch the ball drop in NYC.  I made an attempt to watch a replay of it the next day but it was too painful, New Years Eve was over and I was happy to forget it.  Although this is a very sad tale, does it mean I had a bitter start to the New Year, to 2012?  Absolutely not!  I did fear for my life, and I was not among the people I know and love the most but, it was my first New Year’s celebration in a big city, most likely my last, and we can check it off of the list.  I had a very eventful 2011, filled with ups and downs, successes and failures, joys and heartbreak.  Therefore, the summary of this year does not depend on the one night signifying its finale.  I have many more months left here in France and so many more obstacles to overcome, so I say, bring it 2012!  Happy New Year everyone!  And why not- go out and do something crazy!